Sex and sex acts have been the most controversial and damning things in media and in my day-to-day. Cheating on your partner, finding a partner, rape, molestation, and sexual abuse have all played a role in my life before I was even aware of my own sexual desires. And yet a frank conversation about having sex and the types of things that can interest one are taboo.
I don’t know what made me look up slutty times and smutty times as possible domains. I think it was a conversation where the word combination came up in a conversation one day. Domain rules tend to have hosters bulk buying combinations of words and holding them hostage (ebola.com was held hostage for thousands of dollars when the scare came up in 2014) from the usual dollar to ten dollars a domain initially costs. But to have these free was kind of a strange but delightful find. I had no problem buying them without a plan in place for their use.
After delighting over the buy, keeping these sites in the sex field almost fell into place when speaking to the dressing room at a Burleoke show. Performers in the burlesque community are full of hilarious and interesting stories about their sexcapades. Then it hit me- a podcast/vlog with my friends that marries my personal quest to normalize sex work, sexual freedom, and sexual awareness. Instead of porn that appeals to the voyager aspect and normalizes certain aspects of sex and “acceptable” fetishes, I could tape these stories in a format that mimics a casual conversation or talk show.
One story that comes to mind is talking about exploring sex and intimate touch in a short story I was writing. I wanted that story to be sexual but also Christian. I did not, and still don’t, see sex and religion in conflicting lights as both are love in its most divine. But the church I was attending felt the intimate scene of someone enjoying the act of giving oneself to another and trusting them in that moment was apparently too sexual for a “virgin” like myself. (Like I can not decipher the underlying meaning behind sex watching my parents divorce and other relationships.) I lost that notebook and story to that church and never went back. But that reaction stuck with me.
I can go on but situations like this are why I think this podcast is needed. People like to talk about themselves and need a safe place to explore. And I enjoy building safe spaces and havens for exploration. This podcast, airing during booty call hours every Saturday, hopes to be a place for the curious to learn about sex and sex acts in a non-judgemental space.
Or something along those lines.